There had
been a conflict in the morning and it centred around what is, what the real
situation was and what one wanted the situation to be. The what is was
uncomfortable to the one with an ideal of how one things should be; what one
would like the situation to be rather than what it was actually was which was
in conflict with the ideal. Whilst the true situation was understood the mind still
desired the ideal and so there was conflict in the person and this was apparent
in the feelings being expressed.
Outside on
the same morning the movement of the bus and later the colour of the leaves and
the movement of the body through the autumn woodland made a difference and the
mind fell quieter. The darkening clouds did not deter one and with little
breeze and mild temperatures the voices of the children and adults in the play
areas and coffee shop seemed very clear with a calming effect. The crunch of
sticks under the feet, the rustle of the small grey squirrel scurrying through
the undergrowth was calming too.
How foolish
it is to desire something that is an illusion, to hanker after it as if it is
real. Why the mind plays these games is difficult to understand. Why our
conditioning rules our lives bringing the trials of the past into the present
and projecting them into the future as if there is no escape is a mystery until
we can observe ourselves without condemnation.
Dealing in untruths however desirable, however socially acceptable,
however comforting it seems is of little lasting value and conflict arises and
makes its home in each one of us.
The rain
started eventually but much of the walk was done and in any event the rain was
neither heavy nor prolonged. After the rain the skies brightened and there were
glimpses of a warming autumnal sun. Everything glistened and the world was
alive. The previous conflict of the morning had dissolved with the
understanding that whatever is, is the only truth and self-centred desires and
justifications only cloudy the view of the truth.
