Simple words with a powerful meaning

I was watching a programme on Jimi Hendrix, the guitarist, on the BBC recently and I was listening to his brother talking about parts of their life together when he said, "We thought life was fantastic, I didn't know we were poor."

I don't think that sentence requires any further explanation. It is brilliant in its simplicity. How often do we measure something inside us with some external reference in order to check that we are ok?

What do you think? Is life "fantastic", or do you check, for example, to see if you have enough money before you can answer that? 

Turn it upside down

A little over a week ago one of my NLP (neuro linguistic programming) group of friends came across a web site that was entitled "The 7 Steps to Highly Effective Hating!"
They had found it at the web site: http://www.pe2000.com/NLP_model_hatred.htm

The seven steps are:
Step 1. Look through your own eyes only
Step 2. Keep it simple with 'black-and-white' thinking
Step 3. Avoid being objective
Step 4. Carefully select your evidence
Step 5. Avoid critical thinking
Step 6. Talk! Don't listen!
Step 7. Goad them into over-reacting

Now this all looks like a bit of fun, and it is, but how many of us take some or all of these steps until we realise that we are doing it! I am commited to being aware but there are times I catch myself doing one of the hating steps. Stay aware and stop as soon as you notice yourself taking any of the above steps.

As a positive exercise our NLP group decided we could go through the above steps and turn the whole thing on its head and therefore come up with "The 7 Steps to Highly Effective Loving!"

I made notes at the time and have since mislaid them, so I will do this from memory.

Step 1. Look at the world through others eyes as often as you can.
Step 2. Think wisely and allow yourself to see all sides.
Step 3. Work at being objective and seeing things through others perspectives.
Step 4. Select from a broad range of evidence.
Step 5. Allow your thoughts to be swayed by others point of view.
Step 6. Listen and find out what others are thinking and meaning.
Step 7. Ask honest and open questions in a non judgmental way.

I think you can see how this simple exercise can direct us toward a better way of living.

.

Events and what you think they mean

When some thing happens to you or an event takes place that affects you, it is how you think about the event and how you feel it affects you, not the event itself that makes you feel a certain way.

The next time something happens to you and you react in a certain way ask yourself why you responded that way. Think about different meanings the event could have? Why did you choose the one you did?

You find very quickly that there are several different interpretations you could have put on the event. You see the meaning of the event it is not written on a tablet of stone. The event can be interpreted different ways.

I think you have a choice. You may go straight to the meaning of an event because you usually respond that way. Say for example something as simple as a friend not returning a call. As soon as a certain time has elapsed you start thinking that the friend in question no longer values the friendship. You begin to run negative scenarios through your mind "they always respond to so-and-so, it’s just me they don't like..." In actuality it may be that the friend has gone away for the weekend and returns your call when they return. The event itself is neutral it is the way we interpret it that gives it meaning.

It tells us a lot about ourselves so the next time something happens be aware of your reaction. Ask yourself why you reacted that way and what other alternative explanations might there be to a particular event.
You might just surprise yourself.
The next step is to see the event as neutral and either interpret it so it is useful to you, or just don't attach a negative response to it. I'll talk about ways of doing that at some other time.

Here's one of my favourite messages

Instead of saying to yourself "WHAT IF" (it rains, he or she doesn't like me, I get it wrong etc) try saying "SO WHAT" for a change. See how different that makes you feel about your worries.

Today read this, tomorrow do it.

A few years ago I used to wake up in the morning and very soon I would be worrying how I would be dealing with 'awkward' people and situations as I perceived them. I would run negative scenarios through my head, what would go wrong, how would I deal with it? Would the people I had difficulties with personally get in the way of the resolution I wanted? All this thinking really achieved was to put me in a negative state for most of the day, irrespective of what actually happened in my day.
Think negative things can happen in your day and you are probably right.
Think positive things can happen in your day and you are probably right.
I now know what is the right way to start my day.
I wake up and now think what can I do today to make things better. That thought is so empowering. I feel more refreshed immediately. Sure people do things I don't understand but that no longer makes me think there is something wrong with them. Anyway, now I can ask, instead of making something up in my head and letting that control my feelings.
My request to you the next time you wake up is to ask what can I do today to make things better and see how that transforms your day.

Good one liners to get you thinking

If you don't decide what to do for yourself someone else will do it for you.


Live in your own sunshine and not is someone else's shadow.


Do something different. If you do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always got.


Before you put someone else right, put yourself right first.


Anger is not so much about what someone or something has been done to you, but is more about what you are doing to yourself.


If you don't take responsibility for yourself who else is going to?

Today ='s right now

A while ago if you had suggested to me that before I start my day I would meditate and do some breathing exercises I may have snapped saying something like "I haven't got time for that sort of stuff".

Thankfully my mind now has the flexibility to move on from that kind of limiting thinking and I now do things that are different if I think they are useful.

My thought for today to share with you is that during today something will happen and your initial response will be the same as it has been for many years. This time STOP and think if this is in fact the right response and come up with a different action.

A really simple example is where a workmate offers to get you a coffee, perhaps as they always do, and they also expect the same response from you. This time say, and, or do, something different. Surprise yourself and your work colleague.

I know it is a little thing but it shows you how to just pause, take stock and reflect on what's being asked of you. Respond having thought what you really want and not what the other person may be wanting.

Where to start?

Right here and now. No preparation is necessary. Find some time to be on your own. It's not a lonely place to be.
How do you feel right now? Good, great, rubbish, 'no idea', ok? Be honest with yourself. Find out what is going on in you. How are you feeling, thinking and how are you physically?
We are Mind Body and Soul. You will need to know all parts of you.

Welcome to my blog "The Very Best Of You".

It is about time I started helping people to realise their own potential and where their true happiness lies. Today is the day I commit to offering you the information to enable you to become fully engaged with the human race.

It is time for you to stand up and out and be the person you know you can be. Fine words I hear you say. So how do I do that you ask? Trust me you can.

Suspend you own disbelief for a while, open your heart and mind and start accepting yourself, becoming aware of what you really feel and start stripping away set responses that have not always served you well.

It's time to be good to yourself!